im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
