we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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