To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
