Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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