She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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