You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
