Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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