if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My breasts were aching with rage.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize