Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
