I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
4 words: hood of his car
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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