and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
