Porn is love you can see.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You pole danced in your parka.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
