do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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