where am i from again
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
