Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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