I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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