My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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