It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
