The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
