I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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