Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize