but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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