She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
