I wish you could order shots online.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
