i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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