I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ugly people sure do ruin things
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
