you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
