I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
