He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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