So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i already hear my dad disowning me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
