hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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