How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
