if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
