When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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