my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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