if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
