can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Everclear isn't food dammit
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
