I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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