so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
