no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
