it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize