my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
