We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize