All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
