I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize