why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
