so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize