plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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