The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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