who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
