you guys were way drunker than both of me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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