It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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