Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
