I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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