Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
