I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
