i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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