I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
