so that wasnt chicken after all
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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