nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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